The Bachelorette Recap: Episode 2

You guys! You guys. I need to be frank with y’all. I am having some trouble really getting into this season. Maybe it was reading Bachelor Nation over the season break and really coming to terms with how formulaic and manipulative this show is, but it’s not working for me yet!

I do really like Becca and a couple of the men are charming to me so I know that soon, hopefully, I’ll be obsessed as usual, but it’s just so meh for me right now.

Meh or not, there are always things outrageous enough to merit discussing, so let’s.

Here are the 10 Worst Things That Happened on The Bachelorette: Episode 2

10. Oh, Bryan and your predictable and lame shrinkage joke, never change.

9. Okay actually I think the sledgehammer date looks wildly fun, but can you imagine having your freaking previous proposal playing on multiple TV screens on your first date with someone new? I mean, really.

8. Garrett thinks Becca is the girl version of him and I get what he’s trying to say, but honey, you find a partner who complements you, not mirrors you!

7. Bachelorette and Bachelor contestants: STOP TRYING TO SAY THE OPPOSITE OF GENUINE. It’s disingenuous. That’s literally all it is.

6. I was mildly amused by Jordan last episode, but alas, the producers have already ruined a good thing with overexposure and he is driving me BONKERS. Also, and I’m not trying to be an asshole, but he is… not attractive? For someone whose whole thing is being attractive especially.

5. I hate when the normal dudes get obsessed with the crazy dudes just there for Instagram followers. Jordan is an idiot! Becca can tell! Don’t get so obsessed with how disrespectful Jordan is, David, just ignore him and recognize that he’s not lasting that long and your overreaction is making you look nuts.

4. Hahahaha the timing for a relationship with Tia wasn’t right for Colton, you know, three months ago, but now he’s completely ready for a serious relationship—as long as this one is televised, of course.

3. Wait wait, do women actually want their husbands to treat them the way they treat their sisters and moms? Like, isn’t that freaking weird? Chris thinks this is a wonderful plan of his and Becca oddly agrees. But don’t you want an entirely different dynamic with your spouse? Is he just trying to say he’s going to be nice? Isn’t that how you should treat… all humans?

2. Ah, another season of The Bachelorette, another misogynistic relay race. I think the ball and chain really just exceeds even their worst offenses in the past. GROSS.

1. Connor sucks. He’s aggressive, temperamental and entitled and then on top of that, manipulative enough to con himself into a rose. You can’t just break someone’s stuff! Especially if it was just given by the woman you supposedly want to date. He totally thought he could be domineering to Lincoln and get away with it and turns out, he was right.

My random thoughts and predictions:

  • Lol Clay is an adorable sweetheart who is so awkward and I just love it.
  • NO, Rickey left us too soon. ABC, BRING HIM BACK.
  • I like Wills and Jean Blanc! And Blake is sweet, but seems too, like, fresh? Like a little baby.

And now, to address the Garrett situation raised last week. So he issued an apology that was actually a good one. Becca also made a comment on the whole thing. This tells me one thing loud and clear: he makes it very, very far.

I’m going to take his apology at its word and give him another chance, if only because he does seem to light up around Becca. But I’m always going to remember this, sir!

See y’all next week where hopefully the ambulance with a fight thing is a fake out and I find a genuine interest in these people finally.



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