The Bachelor Recap: Swirling Doubts

It’s the week before hometowns and I don’t think any of these women have strong enough relationships with Arie to introduce them to their families, but alas, I am only your friendly neighborhood recapper, not the one handing out roses.

Swirling doubts, the theme of the episode, really sums up how I feel about Arie deserving any of these women.

Luckily, three magical women are now free of him! Let’s discuss.

Here are the 10 Worst Things That Happened on The Bachelor: Episode 7

10. Arie tells these magnificent Italian women that he used to work in a pizza place, the good old PIZZA HUT.

9. I’m into Bekah but girl needs to stop obsessing about her odds of getting a rose. It is not a game show! Well, if we’re being honest, it is, but technically it is about relationships and yours should be your number one worry.

8. Tia, who is generally very wonderful, uses some of her time to talk to Arie about Bekah not taking this as seriously as she does. You don’t need to protect Arie’s heart! You are not in a committed relationship yet. And also, this is the worst look.

7. “It’s been amazing to get to know you these last few days,” Arie says to Lauren with no hint of irony as he follows up with, “I’m falling deeply in love with you.” Cool! Seems legitimate!

6. Um yeah, I would not handle the, “I feel like a big sister,” comment from Tia as well as Bekah did. She probably meant it kindly but it was extremely condescending.

5. This group date turned two on one is some bull shit. It definitely made the whole thing feel very, “You don’t deserve me yet, come do some more convincing.”

4. Arie is desperate for the women to open up but any time they say something vulnerable (like Lauren saying she’s worried about putting herself in a position to be heartbroken again), he says dumb nothing phrases like, “Yeah.” Yeah? Really, that’s all you got?

3. I have HAD IT with the kissing. I HATE ARIE’S KISSES! I HATE THEM! They are so smarmy and yucky and textbook, “I am a robot sent to seduce you.”

2. Y’all. Y’ALL. When Jacqueline expresses her worries that she’d suddenly end up in Scottsdale married to Arie, he says, “You understand that doesn’t have to happen right away, right?” Um, or you could have some willingness to change your boring, easily flexible life to fit with hers? Or, wait, you would never consider a relationship where your desires aren’t the center of all decisions? Oh yeah, duh.

1. So I know that Arie eventually reciprocated Lauren’s feelings by telling her he’s falling deeply in love with her, but his first reaction to this woman who has told him multiple times how hard it is to be vulnerable telling him she is falling in love with him is to… walk away from her? Oh my good god. He is so self-centered.

And now my random thoughts/predictions:

  • I wish we could have spent all two hours truffle hunting with the dogs. I mean, come ON.
  • This is random, but Bekah said on her Instagram stories recently that she draws on her freckles which is very bizarre to me. I have tons of freckles and I love love mine, but that is weird. Yes, I am glam shaming.
  • Jacqueline, who I immediately missed desperately, takes a sip of Arie’s wine before breaking up with him. I love her.
  • All three women were such adults during their Arie break up.
  • I’m assuming Kendall goes home next but then I have no idea. He seems most into Lauren… but why?

Now it theoretically gets serious. Shall be interesting. And yes, I will be watching Bachelor Winter Games, but I will not be recapping it, because, absolutely not.



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