Okay, so this episode wasn’t bad per se, and I actually prefer its extreme boringness to the garbage fire of the previous episodes.
That said, OH MY GOODNESS it was so boring.
Please forgive the huge stretches I make in this recap to find anything at all to discuss.
Here are the 10 Worst Things That Happened on The Bachelorette: Episode 7
10. SOOOOOOOOO many conch jokes, none of which I particularly get? No, I’m not asking you to explain them to me, thank you.
9. Becca supposedly has a very tough goodbye with Leo, but they showed us two sentences of it? We want our Leo exit package!
8. Wills and Becca kiss so awkwardly! It was such a dead giveaway of their doomed relationship [insert 17 crying emoji here].
7. The rotating forced conversations between the guys not on dates about the guys on the date were literally identical each time. Why don’t they show the funnier more normal parts of the date conversations if they need to fill time?
6. Yikes, Becca and Garrett talk about addressing red flags which is such foreshadowing since we know about all of the red flags of Garrett’s Instagram behavior.
5. “I don’t even think my dad knows I’m a virgin,” says Colton. Well, no shit, why would you talk about sex with your dad?
4. I get that Becca just wasn’t going to pick Leo for hometowns anyways, but I find it ridiculous that it scares her that he’s not ready to propose yet. Girl, you haven’t met families OR had a second of alone time. I’d be more scared about the intentions of the ones who are ready to propose already!
3. I’m super glad Colton’s virginity wasn’t fetishized like virginity normally is on this show, but it really irks me that when the women are virgins, it’s painted as this point of pride and when a man is, it was a point of embarrassment. Like women are supposed to be pure so good for them, but men get to be normal people with full lives, so shame on them.
2. I hate when the leads pressure the contestants to say they’re in love because other people have. Like, yuck. There are still so many people left, you don’t need to force that! Do you really want someone to tell you they love you just to catch up with other people?
1. WILLS NO MY POOR HEART! It was obviously coming, but it was still tragic to see and UGH why couldn’t y’all bless us with his family at least?
My random thoughts and predictions:
- UGH I was hoping that Wills’ super long and heartbreaking exit interview meant that he was in the running for the Bachelor, but ugh they said he’s going to Paradise. I mean, I’m glad he’s at least coming back some way, but boooo.
- Garrett and Blake are our final two, I guarantee it.
- So Blake is presumably going to be our Bachelor if she picks Garrett? I know everyone loves him and he is very sweet, but I’m just not feeling it.
The hometown previews even look boring! Except for the Tia situation probably. Oh well, I guess boring is fine if it doesn’t involve a taped dumping of a fiance.
*Feature image source: Twitter.com/TheBachelorette