Y’all, my simmering and dispassionate dislike of Arie is making me the worst Bachelor recapper!
I have to rewind everything, like, four times just to actually hear anything that he says. As you can imagine, four half viewings of any one of his incredibly meh conversations is enough to make me want to gouge out my eyeballs.
However, I do quite enjoy that he realizes he is not too bright or too interesting and I am HERE for all these awesome women.
And UGH Krystal sucked again, of course, but as she left, laid out all of her issues and insecurities that enabled the behavior we disliked in her so much and now I feel like it’s not fun to talk about her. Ugh, I will try.
Here are the 10 Worst Things That Happened on The Bachelor: Episode 6
10. Oh my gosh they had soooo much silent footage of Arie and Lauren together! I’m sure they talked more than we could see, but gracious, they had trouble using words. What is it that Arie thinks is so amazing about her? She could very well be great, but we aren’t seeing any of it!
9. General season complaint: all the promos painted Chelsea so poorly and she was completely lovely!! They made it seem like she was mean about the other women and she wasn’t! She just said she’s different than them so it makes her question what he wants. She was great, editing sucks, I love her.
8. Lauren is straight melting down, you guys. This is NOT the setting for her. I feel bad for her but she is just IN FOR IT as things move forward.
7. LOL I can’t, Jenna says she never thought she’d be with the most gorgeous man alive. I think she must be referring to Arie? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
6. Wait wait wait. What was this weird walk with Arie’s arm around Kendall and Krystal holding his other arm? That was so weird!! Do they always do this on the two on one? It felt remarkably creepy from Arie.
5. The disconnect between Arie and Krystal when discussing their “first fight” is so big. He’s telling her he doesn’t want to relate in this way and she’s so excited to overcome challenges together. Just listen! Listen to the words he’s saying and take responsibility for your actions!
4. Tia expresses discomfort at the dancing in thongs so they, of course, make her…dance in a thong. Maybe this might be something we avoid after last summer’s Paradise scandal? This actually didn’t super stand out to me until I saw this tweet. Like why tweet this? Now I definitely see this as crossing a line of her comfort.
3. After Kendall’s very sweet empathetic approach to Krystal, Krystal says it felt patronizing and that she doesn’t need her advice. Um, girlfriend, you’ve been passing out unwanted advice all season, take two minutes of it from someone kind.
2. Jacqueline’s ambitions and dreams aren’t a hindrance, you guys—just an obstacle. Dude. You’re a real estate agent, you could live anywhere. Get over yourself.
1. Krystal says she is wife material which is the worst phrase in the history of this show. (I rant about this every season essentially to say nothing makes you unworthy or worthy of marriage.) She also talks about being a woman while everyone else are timid girls and generally tears down the women as much as she can to temporarily make herself feel better. (But guys, she is damaged! She needs some therapy! And for someone to love her!)
And now my random thoughts/predictions:
- OMG can we talk about how amazing Kendall was with Krystal?!?! YES, when you say the most hurtful things you don’t win, you just hurt someone. YES, giving nonverbal cues of emotional connection (okay, I’m reading a lot of parenting books). YES, trying to understand why she would say something hurtful. AMAZING. Amazing.
- HAHA, “No one thought Trump was going to win the election and looky here we are.” I’m not weeping, you are.
- Jacqueline is the best. Her pony line made me actually laugh. You are too good for this world!
- I’m going to guess Seinne doesn’t move forward, but I’m not to sure who else won’t make it past next week.
Okay! Four of these women are bringing Arie home to their families! I’m going to assume things get real serious next week (jk jk, it’s Arie, they will just make out a lot.)
*Feature image source: twiiter.com/BachelorABC