Hello, hi, this was a pretty standard hometowns episode, and while it wasn’t particularly interesting, it also wasn’t particularly sexist and awful, so… a win!
Here are the 10 Worst Things That Happened on The Bachelorette: Episode 8
10. WAH poor Jason is going to have his heart broken and his mom knows and UGH he doesn’t, I’m so sad.
9. Don’t judge me, I don’t know Chris Farley very well, but I think we get another Chris Farley impression from Garrett’s dad which just shows how insufferable that proclivity of Garrett’s would be.
8. Colton claims on national TV that he’s never brought a girl home and then people found picture after picture of Aly Raisman with his family so uh, this loser is not only a manipulative liar, but he’s an idiot!
7. Colton’s dad essentially asks Becca to defend herself for her breakup with Arie as if it’s the same as sliding into the DMs of the woman you think is going to be the Bachelorette and then dumping her when you find out she isn’t. Yeah, no.
6. There’s a little heavy-handedness coming from Garrett’s mom about the values she’s heard Becca shares with their family. In any context, this was a little odd, like, “wink wink you’re down with the racism, yes?” but knowing about Garrett’s social media behavior, this is so awkward and weird and I’m confused as to how Becca got here, honestly. (I am not saying Garrett’s mom is racist, I’m just talking about the vibe.)
5. For someone who was supposedly hesitant to tell Becca he was a virgin, Colton sure is bringing it up A LOT, even going so far to talk about it with HIS MOTHER. Not buying it, you guys. He’s working his storyline something fierce.
4. LOLOLOLOL why is Colton asking Chris Harrison about what he has to do in the fantasy suites?? I literally cannot. Is he asking if he’s contractually obligated to have sex? Or like, he has to ask the man in charge because Becca doesn’t have authority?
3. Ugh, the women always talk so well about the men and why they’re interested in them, noting things about their personality and true being while the men always talk about how beautiful the women are. Becca immediately noticed Garrett’s energy and positivity. Garrett didn’t know what to expect, but Becca is beautiful! UGH.
2. And now we’ve reached the point where school shootings have been so entrenched and commonplace in our crumbling hellscape of a country that victims of school shootings are on The Bachelorette. I’m glad Blake shared his difficult and heartbreaking story and I’m glad the show made space for it in the episode, but I hate, hate, hate that this happens so often here.
1. Colton says Becca has a natural motherly feel that you can’t learn that you either have or you don’t have. UM. SIT DOWN, DICKWAD. Motherhood is literally all learning, every second of every day.
My random thoughts and predictions:
- Tia has absolutely zero poker face, like it to an insane point and I’m here for it.
- Jason’s family—his prescient mother and wonderful brother—were the very best.
- Mad, mad props to Becca for not telling Colton about Tia’s feelings for him. That is a GREAT friend.
- I’m 100% team Jason, but there’s no way she’s picking him.
Thailand next week! If I was on this show, I would definitely want a place like Thailand. See you next week!
*Feature image source: Twitter.com/TheBachelorette