This show is the pits, man.
Oh hi, welcome to my recap, it’s really uplifting and fun, I swear!
Okay, but, like, is there anything nice to say about this show anymore? Becca is cool!
Um. That’s all I got.
Here are the 10 Worst Things That Happened on The Bachelorette: Episode 6
10. I feel personally offended for how Richmond was portrayed this date. Is the historical vibe really what we’re going to go with? What about Maymont Park? Or Carytown? (I went to college in Richmond for a couple years).
9. OMG the dancing in front of strangers on a tiny stage always seems miserable, but they really take it to another level with Leo and Becca by letting the onlookers rush the stage and pile around them. NOPE.
8. Colton says the hardest part is knowing that someone else is making Becca smile. Oh cool, I’m glad Becca’s happiness is such a downer for you!
7. Guys, I don’t even know. Lincoln and Chris have a dumb fight on the couch about literally nothing? I couldn’t even understand what was happening except that they both suck. The other dudes squirming in the background were great, though!
6. Chris keeps talking about his redemption and NO, we are not here for your redemption arc. Also, you have to just, like, genuinely be a nice, good person to have a redemption arc. You don’t just say redemption over and over to make it true.
5. “Am I not allowed to express how I feel?” AH, yes, let’s use honesty as a scapegoat for being an irrational monster!
4. Chris repeats what Lincoln said about him at the debate which one can hope was, “fat fuck” and not “fat [the other f-word]” but wait, in Lincoln’s defense wasn’t Lincoln saying Chris told him someone else called him that? Am I defending Lincoln? God help me, but anyways, NOT APPROPRIATE in front of children and Ralph Northam, you psycho!
3. “Whether you want to believe me or not, I can’t control what you think,” is definitely the right thing to say to reassure someone that you’re not physically or verbally aggressive. I’m sure Becca would have so much fun having marital disagreements with you!
2. Chris tells Becca that he’s not going to let this adversity end something he feels strongly about, because, you know, a relationship is totally just a one-way street and only his determination and desires matter!
1. I can’t with the tantrum Chris threw about not wanting Becca to walk him out. He is an angry child. Bolt that door as fast as you can, Becca!
Y’all, I don’t even know! Do other people like this show still? No, but really, I’m asking.
- Jason is so sweet! I like him so much that his hair doesn’t even bug me anymore.
- I mean, obviously, she’s not picking Leo, who was rather sweet. And we only really also saw Colton? Who I tolerate, I suppose.
Okay, next week. Bathing suits! People who Becca actually likes! Fingers crossed it’s so much better.
*Feature image source: Twitter.com/TheBachelorette