The Bachelorette Recap: Men Tell All

You know I hate the “Men Tell All” because I generally have no interest in watching shitty men yell at each other nor do I find giving oxygen to bad behavior to be productive, but ALAS, here we are.

As “Men Tell All” episodes go, it wasn’t that bad! Colton talked about his virginity in a productive way, Jason used his Jack from This Is Us voice to its fullest power, Wills and Leo both looked fly.

Let’s discuss!

Here are the 10 Worst Things That Happened on The Bachelorette: Episode 10

10. I love me some Wills, but I cannot with people calling themselves nerds for liking things like Harry Potter. I have said this exact same thing on this site when some girl claimed nerdiness for liking Game of Thrones. Literally, everyone likes Harry Potter and Game of Thrones, chill.

9. Wait, why wasn’t Clay at the “Men Tell All”?? Maybe because I completely forgot about him/had to look up his name, but he was the sweetest! Freaking Kamil and no Clay?

8. Lol, Colton’s complaint about Jordan’s gold underwear is that you’re not going to get married in gold underwear. Um, yeah, so? So he can’t be silly ever because one day he might get married? I don’t even know.

7. Christian, who clearly no one remembers, picks the oddest fight with Jordan and good gracious, WHAT WAS HE WEARING? I am personally offended by his outfit.

6. Oh my god Jordan is so nuts, I can’t even.  I only find him mildly entertaining, so like, please rescue me from this season of Bachelor in Paradise.

5. Kamil, no one wants to hear anything you have to say about basic models because we all remember how you wanted Becca to walk closer to you because relationships should be 60/40 your way, BYE LEAVE MY TV FOREVER.

4. Connor gets on Chris’s case for losing control, asking how he could possibly lose control. Dude, you threw Lincoln’s picture in the pool almost entirely unprovoked, so let’s leave the lecturing to someone else.

3. David, SHUT UP talking about the seriousness of the whole thing when you showed up in a freaking chicken suit and spent all of your time talking about someone else. This show is a farce and a few real relationships form out of it, so please calm down.

2. Hi, long time Bachelor viewer here, not at all surprised that they didn’t address Lincoln’s absence or time on the show or the fact that he’s a freaking convicted sex offender that they allowed on the cast. Not surprised, still disappointed.

1. Jean Blanc says to Colton that, “You’re a pussy and you’ve never even seen pussy,” which is just offensive on so many levels. Okay, first of all stop using pussy as a derogative term as if its association with being female is bad or weak when, hi, pussies are 1,000 times tougher and more beautiful than any gross ass penis. Second of all, what about gay men? Are they not tough and brave because they have sex in a different way? This statement should be in the dictionary to give an example of toxic masculinity.

My random thoughts and predictions:

  • Jesus Christ, in the Paradise preview, Raven says, “I’m back in Paradise where I had my first orgasm.” Lord.
  • Becca’s hair looked AMAZING.
  • Colton knew he wasn’t going to be the Bachelor, clearly, with all the bickering, but Wills and Jason were both auditioning something fierce. Either of them would be the progressive Bachelor we deserve, and please, please don’t let them accidentally fall in love with a bigot.

See you next week for our finale! Will we finally address Garrett’s social media behavior? What a mess.



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