Oh boy, you guys. Have you ever met a famous person? Not like, some random former NHL player that even your Canadian fiancé hasn’t heard of. Like a real famous person you’re kind of (okay, a lot) obsessed with.
It is THE WORST.
Here’s a recap of my real life interactions with famous people.
Having worked for Obama for a while, I’ve had the chance to shake his hand a couple of times (and once I got a hug!). But instead of being one of those cool people that has some story to tell him or something awesome for him to sign, I just smiled and said “Hi.” Literally, I’ve never said more words to him (except on conference calls when I was shielded by invisibility).
Vice President Biden
There’s a difference between saying hi when you’re just shaking someone’s hand with 500 other staffers waiting in line versus having extended time with someone.
Well, I had some nice extended time with Joe (the love of my life), when I ran a video conference call he held with campaign volunteers. And Joe’s really chatty! He hangs around to talk to the people who helped make events possible even when his staffers are like, “hi, can you leave please finally?”
He talked to our little production team in a little semi-circle and was adorable and engaging for at least five minutes. And I smiled a lot and said nothing. So.
In 2012, I saved all my asks up for one big ask. I hoped that if I remained the farthest thing from a star-fucker (this is political talk for someone who hangs around and fawns over famous surrogates instead of actually doing their job), that when I finally asked for one chance, Bird and Mitch would make it happen.
In retrospect, perhaps I should have asked to meet Beyoncé. But instead, I begged to attend the Chicago fundraiser with Anna Wintour.
They made it happen and not only did I get to volunteer at the fundraiser everyone wanted to go to, they let me act like a big donor and go through the photo line to take a picture with Anna.
It was amazing.
I said, I think, zero words.
No not really. I probably said “HI” and “THANK YOU” all breathy and panicky. But legitimately, that’s all. Given the chance to meet Queen Anna, I said “HI.” I was also sweating a lot.
A few weeks ago, my lovely friend Lindsay gave me her tickets to The Mindy Project Paley Fest. By itself, that’s really awesome. But when I got there, I got a pink wristband and was whisked up to room with a little cocktail party.
At first I’m like, “Cool, open bar!” Then I start looking around. OMG there’s one of Mindy’s assistants! (Stop judging- you probably also would recognize Mindy’s assistant if you loved Mindy as much as I do.) OMG there’s Tracey Wigfield! OMG there’s Xosha who plays Tamra, my favorite of all time.
HOLY SHIT THE WHOLE CAST IS HERE EXCEPT MINDY.
So you know, I’m freaking out but at like a reasonable level… until I see, in the back of the room, Mindy Kaling herself in a beautiful sari – looking radiant and talking to fans.
Like, is this a joke? Is this real life?
Well, it was real life. And I even MADE EYE CONTACT and she gave me the warmest smile I’ve ever received EVER (and like, I’m engaged to a human who loves me a lot so I’ve seen some nice smiles).
But instead of saying, “Hello, Mindy! It’s such a pleasure to meet you. I love your show and your books so much. Especially the chapter about your affair with a White House staffer! I worked for Obama! I feel like we’ve lived the same struggle with difficult Obama boys. Thanks so much for creating such funny and meaningful content in so many ways! Can we take a picture?” I said literally no words.
She even tried to give me a chance to, really, but I bombed hard.
Do you notice a trend in these interactions? I literally lack the ability to say words when I meet someone I think is really amazing.
It reminds me of Troy, in that episode of Community (when it was still good), when Pierce brought Levar Burton to meet him. You don’t remember one scene from a show you never watched? Hmm. Okay, here’s the clip.
It’s so scary to meet someone you love who’s had no idea you existed until just that second! I literally don’t know how to do it!
I used to think I wanted to be one of those people who can be all chill and act like they’re casually talking to some random on the street. But then I’ve started to think—do I really want to be a person who doesn’t show how nervous and excited I am to meet someone?
No, I don’t. I care a lot- that’s just me. So I guess looking like a crazy scared person is a better alternative to being too cool. Caring is way better, you guys.