Wow! And thank god! And also I don’t really care?
Surprise, surprise, everyone– JoJo picked Jordan! She’s clearly wanted to pick him since they first met! Maybe it’s time we speed this thing up because this show is getting hella predictable.
Before we get into our last worst things of the season (90% of which are about this permission nonsense), I just have to say that I do not get people who think Robby is a good guy. How does anyone believe a word out of his mouth? I mean, I would feel bad for the guy if I actually believed he loved JoJo, but I just don’t! I literally don’t believe a thing he says.
Jordan is meh too, but I’d rather have a meh emotionally unavailable guy who’s honest than a guy who wrote a script for the season before he even stepped foot in the mansion.
Let’s get to it.
Here are the 10 Worst Things That Happened on The Bachelorette: Episode 11
10. Lol Chris tells us we’ll get to hear about the family drama Jordan has with his brother, Green Bay Packers quarterback, Aaron Roger, FOUR TIMES. Inner monologue, “THIS IS OUR LAST CHANCE TO EXPLOIT THIS RELATIONSHIP SO LET’S MAKE IT REALLY CLEAR.”
9. Why does Robby keep changing what he calls JoJo? Jo, JoJo, Joelle—dude, stop it. I know couples give each other nicknames but none of this name manipulation felt natural. It felt like he was trying to find ways to show other people that he really knows her. He’s trying too hard and by he’s trying too hard, I mean he’s fake and it’s all a lie.
8. I was freaking out every time Robby brought up Uruguay and telling JoJo he loved her in Uruguay. Guys, did you know that Robby told JoJo he loved her in Uruguay? I hadn’t heard that! 700 times before… Why? Why does he keep bringing that up? #Conman
7. I literally, I mean, you guys. I just. Ooph. This “asking for permission” nonsense got OUT OF CONTROL. OUT OF CONTROL. Again, I respect people’s traditions, I respect people’s desire to have their families involved, I respect the proposer’s choice to ask the proposee’s family for their blessing (my fiancé did!), but STOP ASKING FOR PERMISSION. Dads don’t control their daughters! Daughters are fully functioning adults who can make their own choices. Seriously, why does he have to give permission? Why do they have to keep saying the word permission over and over and over?? WHY? IS IT 1952?!?!
6. Okay, so I thought it was pretty weird that the fact that Jordan is interesting and likable is a reason not to choose him because other people will also like him? Um, you don’t fix your trust issues by marrying someone so awful that no one will like them.
5. Do you feel good about the monster you have created in Chad, ABC? I know y’all prompted him to stand up, interrupt JoJo, and give a speech about how he deserves love and should be the next Bachelor. Stop giving him oxygen!
4. JoJo informs us that asking for PERMISSION to propose is “a very clear thing that you ask someone’s father.” No, girl. It’s something you care about and, you know, if you want to live in that world, you live in that world. But you don’t get to tell the millions of 12-year-olds watching that they have to live in that world too!
3. JoJo really came off this episode that she cared more about being engaged than being with the right person. Not that I think either Jordan or Robby are necessarily the right person, but when she was talking to Jordan, it was so clear that she wanted Jordan but she wanted to be engaged MORE. Like, why? Couldn’t you get engaged later?
2. How nuts was it for Robby to bring JoJo’s mom into the PERMISSION conversation so she could just watch? Why wouldn’t he ask for PERMISSION from both of them? To not even speak to her while she sits and watches the men bargain for their daughter? Stop.
1. The true horror of this show came out in JoJo and Jordan’s conversation about him not asking for PERMISSION. She’s so upset that he didn’t ask, so she says bewilderedly, “So you need to know how I feel [to ask for my dad’s permission]?” Uh… yeah? Because two people make a decision together to get married….? So yes, your feelings are a part of it? This isn’t just a dowry situation.
Thank goodness we are free from this season! JoJo, you are lovely and beautiful. But your taste in men really just drove this season into the ground. And now my random thoughts.
- Jordan picked the first pretty ring I’ve ever seen on this show. It was still huge and insane, but not a gaudy monstrosity! SAY GOODBYE TO THE HALO CUT, YOU GUYS!
- I hate Robby in a pink tie SO much that I’m rethinking having my fiancé wear any blush at all for our wedding. Yuck yuck yuck.
- JoJo is wearing flips flops to her proposal and I’m into it.
- That is a weird dress home girl had on for After the Final Rose.
- Apparently ABC didn’t invite Kaitlyn and Shawn to After the Final Rose and they tweeted about it and are upset and I’m also very upset because I love them so much!
It’s been a joy (sometimes) to recap this with y’all. Now let’s watch the most mindless show in the world!
*Feature image source: Twitter.com/TheBachelorette