The Bachelorette Recap: Can I Have More Air Time?

The Men Tell All definitely wasn’t boring, I’ll give it that!

It was really just a reminder of how truly horrible poor JoJo’s selection of men was. There were two beautiful standouts, sweet Luke and sassy Wells and literally everyone else was a MONSTER.

Let’s get to this recap which completely wrote itself.

Here are the 10 Worst Things That Happened on The Bachelorette: Episode 10

10. YUCK, Evan says that when he saw JoJo, all he could think was, “God bless America.” Because she’s just so hot, you know? Cool it, erectile dysfunction therapist. Cool it.

9. Alex does not get enough hate, I’m sorry. Like, sure, no one deserves hate. But if people on this show get it, he needs it. He has zero self-awareness. He defends his horrible, rude toxic masculinity even as Luke, his fellow veteran, calls him out for being immature. He is insufferable.

8. Something I hate that The Bachelorette producers do all the time is realize that people love talking about something from the show and then just go HAM on it. Like, we all enjoyed being horrified at Chad, but calm down. Don’t make it such a huge deal! It’s like when someone is cool, but then they tell you over and over that they’re cool and you’re like, eh, you’re not so cool anymore? Chill.

7. Chase is so confused that JoJo would give him the fantasy suite card if she wasn’t in love with him. Uh, dude. Women can have sex without being in love. She’s not required to be in love with you to invite you to the fantasy suite. Did you also not watch the episode? She clearly realized you weren’t it AS you told her you loved her, so uh, there’s your answer.

6. Grant, who really wants us to forget that we know he dumped his girlfriend to go on this show, says to Alex, “You spent more energy trying to take Chad down than you spent trying to take JoJo down.” Such beautiful language to use for pursuing an adult woman! We’re so lucky to have men, you guys. So lucky.

5. Okay, it’s a little ridiculous for Chad to call out everyone for wanting air time and wanting fame when everything he does is to get more air time. Dude quit his job! Dude travels the country looking for other contestants’ ex-girlfriends! (God bless him for that, right?)

4. OMG Evan making Chris play the video again of him trying to push Chad was insane. Like, Evan—you got called out. Accept it! Yes, Chad didn’t move, but that’s because he’s three times your size. Evan DEF tried to push Chad! Not that that warrants Chad’s reaction but don’t lie, bro.

3. Chad was there primarily to try to destroy as many guys’ reputations as possible and I am here for it. It was amazing! I mean, technically, he handled it horribly and didn’t really accomplish his goal because the messenger was so untrustworthy but DAMN. Anyways, it’s going in the worst things category because I so wish he had done it better so we could focus on the other shits, and not him.

2. What in the hell was that Nick B. nonsense when he took off his suit jacket and acted like he was going to fight Chad? Dude, no one knows or cares who you are. Fighting does not make you brave! Threatening to fight when you know you can’t makes you look like a dick. Actual fighting makes you look weak. FIGHTING DOES NOT MAKE YOU STRONG.

1. Chad tells Chris Harrison that at some point in your life, there’s nothing left to do but punch someone. We’ve been over this already. This isn’t true.

And now my random thoughts and predictions.

  • How well did Luke play it to be the next Bachelor? What a perfect little cowboy angel who is rugged and handsome and I literally am so in love, it’s a problem! I would be very surprised if he wasn’t the Bachelor. Also, saying it here first. If it’s Chase, I’m done. Say goodbye to the recaps! (Don’t worry, if it’s Luke, I’ll be here as often as possible.)
  • OMG you stop it right now with Wells. Did you hear him tell everyone to stop saying Chad’s name like he was Voldemort? I die.
  • You go, JoJo, calling people out for describing reassurance as a bad thing! Go, girlfriend.
  • JoJo knows her love language so well and she has just latched on hard to that narrative.

I literally could not look forward to the finale less. I hate both Jordan AND Robby. I don’t want either to win! I want JoJo to be happy, but I really don’t think these guys are going to do it. Ugh. Oh well! See you then.



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