The Bachelorette Recap: Unavailable Men + Luke

Well, you guys, I was pretty tired going into this episode because obviously I was up until the middle of the night for the #KimExposedTaylor party.

And then the episode started and they put all the worst, most unavailable men in a row to make me so miserable and bored and uninterested. BUT THEN LUKE.

I’m in a serious situation with Luke over here, you guys. I am a little pile of mush every time he’s on screen. Please don’t win, my love. I need you next season. In all my heartbreak this episode, at least it looks like I might get my wish…

Here are the 10 Worst Things That Happened on The Bachelorette: Episode 8

10. Did you hear it? We got our first “BAABBEEE” of the season from JoJo to Chase. The producers must for sure know how much we hated that and have edited it out like crazy.

9. Jordan takes JoJo to his high school (which looked like a movie set high school) to make out with her in the library because apparently he wasn’t cool in high school and he’s still overcompensating for it now? Literally why are people on this show so obsessed with high school.

8. Chase’s mom: “Every mom wants to see their son bring a young lady home that he thinks you will love.” Yuck, seriously?  Why don’t you dream that your son will bring a woman home that HE loves? Moms and their sons, man.

7. Robby tells JoJo that tonight was a dream come true for him—you know, the night where the woman he supposedly loves (he doesn’t) cried a lot and got really scared and sad? Yeah, best night ever!

6. JoJo is OBSESSED with finding out why Jordan doesn’t talk to Aaron. Okay, if Aaron wasn’t famous, would it be this big of a deal? I can’t really imagine that it would be. But even if she’s interested and cares only because she likes Jordan a lot, she pushed it a little far. Even if she wants to know more, save it for no cameras. Otherwise, you just look like you’re sad to be losing a ladder to more permanent fame.

5. Robby is SO FAKE I CAN’T STAND IT. How does JoJo seriously listen to his little planned speeches taken straight from other seasons of this show and BELIEVE THEM? I literally can’t understand it. So smarmy, so fake, so sleazy, such a little manipulator. Hate.

4. Why is JoJo so hung up on the men telling her they love her when there are still four left!?! That is insane. Literally insane. She is being ridiculous and liking people just because they told her they loved her and that’s absurd. Like, hi, I’m a totally unavailable man but I’ll lie and tell you I love you so…. you trust me now?

3. Robby goes on and on to JoJo about how he hasn’t thought about his ex once: “Why would I?” Is this supposed to be comforting? You dated her for four years and you literally never think of her a mere three months post break up? That is so scary to me. Are you a psychopath?

2. UGH I HATE A TO BE CONTINUED ENDING MORE THAN ANYTHING. Especially leaving me hanging worrying about Poor Luke. I’M VERY UPSET.

1. Seriously how does anyone go on those four dates and come to the conclusion that you should get rid of Luke? Really? REALLY? He is a perfect cowboy angel. Why is she so drawn to people that hurt her that she can’t see what’s right in front of her?

Literally I hate all of these men except Luke so much, I’m not sure I’ll be able to watch the last two if he’s gone. WAAHHH. And you know if she keeps him now, he’s not staying for the final two. So sad. So sad. Yet so great that hopefully he’ll be our Bachelor. I dedicate this random thoughts to him:

  • Stop it right now with that sweet talk between Luke and his father. Dead. I’m dead.
  • Sophie! Did you see Sophie! The old little tiny dog who comes on the romantic horse ride with JoJo and Luke! Too much.
  • He’s a normal person who loves his friends very much!

Ugh, I don’t know. I don’t know. See you next week…. twice, dear god. One step closer to Bachelor in Paradise, at least.



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