The Bachelor Recap: Another Corinne Show


As lovely Vanessa says, “this was another Corinne show tonight,” and just like Taylor, I wish all the Corinne nonsense was over. I have no patience for manufactured villains on this show.

Sean Lowe tweeted that we all watch The Bachelor partly for villains like Corinne, but no, some of us watch in spite of them. It’s so remarkably predictable, structured, and almost exactly the same every season.

We all understood Corinne’s whole shtick five minutes into her screen time in week one. Is this entertaining for other people? It’s so boring to me. We didn’t even spend more than one minute with Corinne actually with Nick! Guys, THAT’S THE POINT OF THIS SHOW.

I can’t. Anyways.

Here are the 10 Worst Things That Happened on The Bachelor: Episode 4

10. Nick had literally zero idea how to handle Vanessa’s confrontation about Corinne. “Um, be patient? Don’t you know how this works?” She buys it, which, fine, but girl—he did not respond to your concerns at all.

9. Why do all these leads think dancing on stage while a bunch of white women stare at you and yell a lot is a good experience, least of all a bucket list experience as Nick claims? My husband and I were very excited to dance to “Love on Top” as our first dance and while Beyoncé does make everything better and my husband is a perfect weird angel who I love dancing with, doing a first dance IS SO AWKWARD. Everyone’s staring at you! You’re dancing! How do you entertain them? No way this Bachelor regularity is actually fun in any way.

8. Is this ex bump in with Danielle actually real or planned? Obviously her wearing a mic already makes it pretty clear, but either way, it could not have been worse. Does anyone ever like meeting the exes of whoever they’re dating? Also, he seemed very flirty with her? Poor Danielle.

7. Oh my god I literally screamed and yelled while Taylor stood over brunette Danielle and Nick while Danielle talked about their connection; it was SO AWKWARD OMG.

6. Corinne says she’s not privileged in any shape or form. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

5. This manure situation was annoying to me on all sides. Like, Jasmine is wrong—you don’t need to pretend to like shovelling manure to get a boy to like you. No one likes shovelling manure. Don’t fake it. And no, Sarah, you don’t need to step through shit to “date” a guy. But also, Corinne doesn’t need to throw a little fit and go off alone, hoping to get attention from Nick. They’re all wrong and all annoying.

4. Taylor is mad at Corinne because she only thinks about herself. GIRL, that’s the point of this show! You have been a very mature 23-year-old, but you are starting to act your age. If you want the drama over, then stop talking about other people.

3. I hate the Taylor and Corinne fight. Taylor is condescending! It’s not Taylor’s job to decide whether Corinne is ready for marriage, sorry. But Corinne is catty and wild and doesn’t listen and they’re both awful.

2. UGH GROSS Chris Harrison tells the women that they should take pride in still being around to date Nick. Vomit. Boy, no. You don’t feel pride because some dude thinks you’re dateable.

1. Ladies, STOP OBSESSING OVER CORINNE. Literally, don’t give her any more oxygen. Have you not seen this show before? She’ll be gone soon and you’re just reacting to immaturity with immaturity. You notice Rachel is never in the Corinne drama? That’s because she’s too good for this show.

Now, for Nick’s best moments.

Here are the 5 Best Things That Nick Did on The Bachelor: Episode 4

5. Nick went to the women’s march! Maybe he just stumbled out into it? But he tweeted about it! Go Nick! This was not on the show but it counts, shhh.

4. Nick with his sister Bella is his shining star hometown moment every time. His poor other siblings no one cares about.

3. Nick kept skating by Raven and Bella talking all dramatically and they straight ignored him every time. It was charming all around.

2. OMG Nick saying it was incredibly gracious of Vanessa’s students to let her spend time away from them just MELTED MY HEART.

1. Nick is so self-actualized. He talks about self-worth and finding it in yourself and not in relationships and it is such a refreshing take on being a human for this show.

Some random thought and predictions:

  • Brunette Danielle really loves a boob window dress, doesn’t she?
  • Oh lord, they are putting Corinne and Taylor on the two on one OF COURSE.
  • Guys, I really like Raven! Her intro package was truly awful, but everything she has done since has been lovely.
  • I still like Vanessa, but she’s a little too obsessed with Corinne? It worries me. Raven and Rachel both have a better winner edit at this point.

Hopefully, Corinne leaves next week? As long as she stops getting 90% of the screen time, I don’t care either way. See you next week!



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