The Bachelor Recap: I’m Living My Nightmare

Well, we made it one episode before our star started to annoy me.

I started this week pretty down on Nick. I hate Corinne and while I’m not going to be mad at him for caring about attraction and sex right now since it’s all he has to go on, I also think he’s showing some poor judgment in not finding her incredibly annoying.

But, as time went on, Nick became less boring and stupid and more of the mumbly awkward boy I have come to adore. He’s lucky, because I was about to give the “Best Things Nick Did This Episode,” the axe. You’re on thin ice, my friend.

The rest of the episode was pretty text-book second episode of the season. Literally we’ve seen every one of these story lines 100 times (except Liz, of course).

Let’s get right to some complaining.

Here are the 10 Worst Things That Happened on The Bachelor: Episode 2

10. Nick asks Raven what she learned from being cheated on. Um, she learned that guy was a dick? Why does she need to self-reflect on someone else’s shitty behavior?

9. Corinne, inexplicably, says, “XOXO, Gossip Girl.” Oh boy.

8. Hailey, the woman who introduced herself to Nick by telling him she wasn’t wearing underwear, says she wouldn’t be comfortable presenting Corinne to the world if she was Nick. Girl. GIRL.

7. Liz is driving me nuts. Seriously, shut up about your hook up with Nick. She literally can’t stop talking about it. And she’s acting insane. It’s real good you’ve had sex with him and all, but you need to stop acting like he’s your soul mate if you didn’t think it was worth your time to text him before he got his own TV show.

6. At this point, I’m just asking for this show to fundamentally change, but I hate the “I came here to be Nick’s wife,” “I could be going on the first date with my husband,” chatter. Every date you go on could be with your future husband, so hush, it’s not a big deal. And you are not ready to be his wife! You don’t know him at all!

5. I hate Corinne as much as the next girl, but the slut-shaming was out of control. You all know that Nick likes sex—stop acting so surprised! And while she is the absolute worse when she constantly talks about kissing him and him touching her boobs, there is no need for the “she’s not wife material,” “she’s not what I’d be proud to present to the world” nonsense.

4. Ooph, could Liz have chosen a worse thing to do than telling everyone about her hookup with Nick during what was supposed to be a dumb skit? I can’t even pretend I fully listened to the whole thing, I was hiding so far under my blanket.

3. Corinne is legitimately a child. I’m not trying to get real political when Monday night is usually the only time I can go on Twitter and not cry lately, but there is no way this girl didn’t vote for Trump. She’s just like him! She talks about herself constantly, she assumes things are facts because she says them out loud, and she gets mad when people treat her the way she treats them. Getting mad that Taylor interrupted you? Are you serious? I can’t.

2. Ugh there is nothing as boring as the interrupting drama. Like, for crying out loud, we do this EVERY. FUCKING. SEASON. I hate it so much. I get it. It’s the nature of the ridiculous ratio going on, but I am so over it.  Interrupt people. That’s your job. As awful as Corinne is, her dumb speech was right. You’re not there to give the other girls a chance. You want to be mad at someone? Be mad at Nick for letting Corinne interrupt twice in a night. He can say no!


Now, for Nick’s best moments (and honestly his only good ones).

Here are the 5 Best Things That Nick Did on The Bachelor: Episode 2

5. “I’m living my nightmare,” as Liz talks about their past in front of everyone. LOL.

4. I really liked that he asked Taylor about her psychology work! I feel like Nick is showing more genuine interest in these women’s careers than we’ve ever seen on this show.

3. My eyes straight bugged out of my head when Nick tells the girls, “Liz and I had sex,” but good for him! If anyone’s mad at him, that’s nuts. It was before he was on the show!

2. Nick is just not messing around and calling Liz out and I’m here for it. She handled everything horribly and he’s not having it.

1. Nick handles blonde Danielle’s tragic past better than I’ve ever see someone do. He doesn’t make her feel weird about it, but he also doesn’t act like now she’s some delicate flower for him to save. Pasts are important! He respects and appreciates them, but doesn’t hold weird grudges or expectations. Good boy.

Some random thought and predictions:

  • Why am I not surprised Corinne has never been a bridesmaid?
  • I am not sure what I think about Taylor yet, but I LOVED the “I have met girls like Corinne before. And they’re not my friends” comment so much.
  • Alexis is nuts and really quite dumb but also pretty funny. I like her?
  • I honestly still don’t have a frontrunner, besides the fact that we got very little Vanessa and Rachel time, which speaks well of their chances. Blonde Danielle is lovely too, but it’s not her.

I’m already upset about next week because I bet we only get one rose ceremony and I really hate being behind like this, but WHATEVER. See you then!



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