The Mindy Project is back! I’m so excited about it that I’ve decided to really challenge myself by recapping it every week. You think that’s not a challenge? You try catching every joke — there are 6 million! Okay, but really it’s a joy to watch it thinking you’re going to recap it because it’s the actual only way you won’t miss a joke. And, let’s be real, my fiancé’s constant giggling over my second viewing probably still made me miss a couple of the gazillion jokes in the The Mindy Project Season 4 Premiere.

Really fast before we start at the beginning, I have to ask: Did you notice my subtle “fiancé” namedrop above?  It felt really necessary because (SPOILER–why are you reading a recap if you don’t want spoilers) MINDY AND I GOT ENGAGED THE SAME WEEK! What a beautiful, joyous ending to an episode I would have loved even without it.

Let’s begin, but I’m going to break this up into story lines.

Danny in India:

We pick back up right where we left off, Danny knocking on the door of the Lahiris in India. His profession of love is so Danny. I love how Chris Messina has reconciled the two sides of Danny so well to make us believe that the Danny who would fly to India to prove how much he cares is the same Danny who would give that ridiculous, embarrassing profession that he loves Mindy, but doesn’t believe in marriage (probably because he was too busy applying the handbrakes as a kid).

Since he accidentally confesses to the wrong person, Danny chickens out as Tarun (Mindy’s dad) arrives with a mini-machete. Danny will spend the rest of the episode concealing that he’s the father of Mindy’s baby, making it so he gets to play a role in the search for a husband for Mindy. Before this happens, we get to know Mindy’s parents a bit more. Mindy’s mom, Sonu, is my favorite person ever. She’s wearing very Mindy jewelry on top of her mom clothes and walks in singing. Tarun asks how her audition was and she says, “I decided the part was too small and I didn’t get it. What a relief.” Stop, I love her. Her dad is basically a walking pro-Boston propaganda piece. They’re the best.

Back to the arranged marriage. They’re looking through the binder, which isn’t good enough because it’s not a binder of white NBA players, when Morgan arrives, completing his search for Danny. Morgan is always great, and of course sends Tarun birthday presents, and of course accidentally went to Pakistan first. Mad at Danny for still not coming around to the marriage idea, Morgan goes all in on this arranged marriage plan, bringing in a hot prospect, Sendhil.

Sendhil seems just generally perfect (a handsome rich widower), but on top of that, he toured with Michael Jackson as a dancer. Poor Danny can’t handle it and tells everyone he’s the father. Sendhil gets rude and we learn that Mindy got “EXSQUEEZE ME?” from her mom and “HOW DARE YOU” from her Dad. Tarun stands up for their family, specifically for Sonu, “the premiere undiscovered Bollywood actress in the Boston area.” I’m so into them, I can’t handle it.

They tell him to stop being an idiot and just go take care of their daughter. Hi, can we all have parents to walk around and tell us when to stop being an idiot?

Mindy’s in Alternate Reality:

Back in New York, Mindy is freaking out about Danny when she hears he’s not at Peter’s wedding. She immediately dives into an angry speech, which is the best inner monologue I’ve heard in a while. This is exactly how I sound when I huff around, yelling inside my head.

“The next day” she wakes up not in Danny’s apartment, but thankfully not in Mariah Carey’s either. We meet her hot husband, Joseph Gordon-Levvit who seems sweet at first, if not boring, and see her huge ring (obviously, or he’d be “S-ing [his] own D the rest of [his] L” without one). They met on the flight from L.A. and I know this is an alternate reality but I’m still mad. NO. That airplane kiss was seven million times better and also, they were right the first time: airplane bathroom sex is not sexy.

When Mindy goes back into the office, we learn that Danny and her hate each other and that Danny is still cranky. Cranky enough for my favorite Morgan gag of the episode — Morgan riding around in a wheelchair because Dr. C said his shoes were too squeaky. Also, Mindy is still sleeping with Brendan Deslaurier and UGH if you’re going to cheat in an alternate reality, please do so with Casey (whom I miss every day). Without her soul mate Danny, Mindy ends up being a monster in an open relationship, and not even with chili fries.

After her fight with Mitt/Matt/this guy, she runs off to find Danny on a date with actual Freida Pinto. She is stunning but reminds me of the mean girls on my train this morning who acted like I’d punched them in the face when I got barely pushed into them by the train conductor.

Then we have a beautiful rom-com glorious scene in the rain where Mindy cries, “Why didn’t you kiss me!” So good. I mean, no one would actually stand in the rain to have this fight, but it got my heart going for sure. She pleads with him that she would never hurt him because she’s meant to be with him, and after he tells her to cool her loins, that he makes her better.

And then…

Bam she’s hit by a bus and jolts awake to reality with Danny by her side. I love that she got to tell him they didn’t have to get married first, because then we know he genuinely proposed because he wanted to and not because he was scared to lose her.

“When two strangers can meet on their wedding day and still be together 40 years, maybe I’m wrong. I’d like to be wrong.”

The sweetest.

Some important weekly things:

I am really hopeful for this season. I think the writers are feeling the pressure of having been cancelled and the new freedom of having a streaming show. Everything felt very tight. No second or line was wasted, but nothing was forced or uncharacteristic or out of place. They told a story beautifully and still packed each scene with so many one-lines, throw away jokes, and callbacks. I’m looking forward to watching with y’all this season; let’s all pretend it’s like normal TV and watch it each week the day it comes out.

*Feature image source: Originally seen on Entertainment Weekly; John Fleenor/NBC

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