The Bachelorette's Boys waiting to box. *Image source: Rick Rowell, via ABC. Originally seen on

The Bachelorette Recap: There Should Be A Nose Wrinkle Quota

Well that was a fun two hours of television! Not including the stupidest two-bachelorette premise at the start, it seems like this might be one of the best seasons. Kaitlyn is a truly great Bachelorette—speaking her mind, sassing the men, making out with everyone (AS SHE SHOULD). And Amy Schumer is probably (definitely) the best guest star they’ve had on the show. Here’s hoping she’s the Jimmy Kimmel of this season and keeps randomly appearing.

There is still plenty to be annoyed with in Bachelorette land, so let’s get right to it!

The 10 Worst Things That Happened This Week on The Bachelorette: Episode 3

10. So many ugly man necklaces going on this season. Like really, they’re awful and all look kind of similar? Did they make them during craft time together? Please take them off.

9. Kaitlyn gets a note from Jared while talking to Daniel and then leaves really quickly. I love you, Kaitlyn! But don’t be rude to the person you’re talking to.

8. No rose ceremony AGAIN this week! UGH, I know you’re trying to keep me coming back but duh I’ll do that anyways and I have to go through a whole week with no updates AGAIN??

7. For her 1:1 date with Clint, “Kaitlyn” has planned an underwater photo shoot which is apparently something that engaged couples are doing? This is a thing for engaged couples? I want to die that this is a thing.

6. JJ prepping for standup tells Amy Schumer that he’s worried he’s too smart for 90% of the audience. HAHAHA wait sorry, I have to rewind I was laughing at you too hard. Okay, Amy is not having this, “Maybe when he sees the show, he’ll reflect on himself and not be such a turd.”

5. Kaitlyn fails to see straight through JJ and swoons for him, giving him the second group date rose, primarily because he has a daughter. Kaitlyn! A lot of these guys have kids! Go like one of them!

4. Can Tony being on this show just be one of the worst things that happened? He is so annoying. Stop giving yoga people a bad name, Tony! He was too irritating to recount in full, but I’ll highlight that he called Kaitlyn “Britt” and then proceeded to say he was really there for Kaitlyn (haha sure) AND that he condescended to Kaitlyn about her being a combination lock he needs to figure out. Just gagging over here, don’t mind me.

3. JJ literally only talks about himself – to Kaitlyn, to the guys, in the talking heads. He thinks he’s showing Kaitlyn what husband material is (STOP TRYING TO MAKE WIFE MATERIAL/HUSBAND MATERIAL A THING) and is feeling “smugness wrapped inside of cockiness wrapped inside of I just talked to the girl and you didn’t.” Gross, gross, gross. I know this isn’t “church camp” (lol that was so lame/funny) but it’s not a game!

2. Oh boy, Kupah. Oh boy, oh boy. You are definitely the worst. Kupah has clearly had zero interest in Kaitlyn from the beginning, makes no efforts to talk to her really at all, but then worries he’s only being kept around to fill the minority quota. I mean, I’m sure that’s a thing, but calling it out when it’s not happening just makes you the asshole trying to grab screen time.

1. Kaitlyn is a star who is over Kupah and decides to send his gossiping ass home immediately. Kupah is of course, the worst. My skin was literally CRAWLING during this conversation. After whining about being kept around for a quota, Kupah suddenly doesn’t want to go home because AND I QUOTE, “I think you’re hot. I think you’re sexy. I think you’re pretty.” GROSS GO AWAY PLEASE.

Other random thoughts from throughout the night:

  • My obsession with Ben Z continues–did anyone else notice him wrinkle his nose when he accepted the first group date rose? #Swoon / Also:

Ben z picImage source: The Bachelorette on ABC, via screen shot from this episode. Originally seen on BacheloretteABC Twitter feed.

  • OMG I can’t imagine getting my hair done to just jump in a pool.
  • I am legit surprised how much Kaitlyn likes Clint.
  • Okay, Welding Boy, you are growing on me for knowing and liking Amy Schumer.
  • Kaitlyn’s opinions are always very clear on her face and I love that.
  • Ian is so giggly and sweet and can he smile on screen forever?
  • Kaitlyn’s rings were on point last night. I want them all!
  • Shawn B didn’t get any screen time at all! This speaks very highly of his chances.

See you next week–catch me every Monday night tweeting along @Alicemcalex!

*Feature image source: Rick Rowell, via ABC. Originally seen on


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