As you almost certainly know by now, I love my sweet puppy Ella as much as some people love their human babies. (OMG, yes I have read the think pieces about how it’s offensive when people compare their dogs to human babies and oh Jesus, just calm down already.)
Last Saturday was her third birthday (STOP GROWING PLEASE/CAN YOU BELIEVE I’VE KEPT ANOTHER BEING ALIVE AND HAPPY FOR THREE YEARS), so I naturally threw her a birthday party.
This was her third birthday party (um, duh, she has one every year) and I have to say, I’m getting better at planning these. Unfortunately, she is getting more obstinate about wearing a hat/taking good pictures/not being scared of candles, but we do what we can.
I figured you were all wondering how best to throw a dog birthday party, so I’m here for you. Here are the steps I follow to throw the best little dog birthday party around.
Step 1: Become a crazy person! No, I actually mean that. You have to pretend like your dog understands that you’re throwing them a birthday party. It’s like how you talk to babies like they can understand you even though they can’t so that they can learn a bunch of words (the 30 million word gap problem, you know?).
So get rid of any nonsense thoughts that you can half-ass this party because it’s a dog. Go, get rid of them!
Step 2: Next, you have to decide what gives your dog the most joy. For Ella, that’s being the star of the room- getting pets and love from her favorite people. Some people have a dog birthday party with a bunch of dogs and yeah, it’s always pretty adorable.
But see, even though Ella loves other dogs, she literally cannot stand it when another dog is getting attention and she’s not. And though I’m a crazy mom, I’m not about to invite other dogs over and then only pet Ella – I mean, come on. So a people party it is!
Step 3: Plan the puppy party essentials. This includes, of course, the cake your puppy can eat, the puppy gifts (toys), the puppy’s day (lots of fun things).
Get a bunch of stuff your puppy will actually enjoy first- that’s the number one priority!
Step 4: Get the crucial accessories. This includes the hat for your puppy to wear, the puppy bandana declaring to everyone it’s their birthday, the puppy decorations, the hats for your guests to wear, etc. (And here’s the one exception where you can take advantage of this being for a dog- just reuse the same stuff every year).
Here’s everything I use:
Step 5: Plan the human party essentials. This includes, of course, the cake humans can eat, human hats, delicious food, enough alcohol to make everyone cooperate and not keep pointing out that it’s a dog’s birthday party.
Step 6: Have the party! It’s just like a human party – drink first, eat next, sing, eat cake, and open presents last.
Just be prepared for your dog really to not like candles and to keep trying to pull her hat off. It’s okay, we all do our best.
Step 7: Watch your puppy live in puppy heaven with all of her favorite people and a bunch of new toys to destroy and a stomach full of red velvet puppy cake.
My sweet Ella gives me more joy than I can possibly express, so no, I never feel like I’m going too far. I’d give her a party everyday if it was possible.
Happy birthday, baby Ella. Stop growing up now!