Well, I had my first genuine reaction of surprise tonight (at the end!)! With so many dumb preview manipulations, I have lost the ability to care about almost every “shocking” moment.
But you got me this time, Nicholas!
Tonight was a pretty fine episode, honestly, except I am quite annoyed I don’t know who’s getting hometowns next week for sure.
Before you dive in, be warned that I discuss a “spoiler” in number three. Though can you really call it a spoiler if it’s something ABC confirmed themselves and is announcing on Jimmy Kimmel?
Here are the 10 Worst Things That Happened on The Bachelor: Episode 7
10. I think Corinne drinks exclusively champagne and I’m putting that on this list because it makes me extremely jealous. When I was 22, I also drank champagne all the time. Now, if I have one glass, I need a nap and will have a six-hour headache. Fucking 23-year-olds.
9. Nick really did seem to be all over Kristina on the group date, no? I would have felt very uncomfortable. Have you learned nothing, sir?!
8. I completely understand Vanessa’s reaction to Nick not saying I love you, but I also wish she could appreciate how much more honest and open it was for him to say what he said instead of just saying “I’m so glad to hear that” or whatever. Be happy that he wants to be so honest with you and he wants his fiancé to be special!
7. Corinne is finally feeling emotions! She doesn’t know what to do about them! Okay, I’m kidding, because now I’m trying to defend her when I can, but does she really care about Nick? Or does she just really want to win? It seems very much to me that she just wants to win and be the center of attention and will be sad to not be, not to lose Nick.
6. Okay, don’t hate me, but I’m not sure I love Vanessa? She has many lovely qualities but I find her very meh and I find them together much more meh than I’d expect from Nick. Anyways, the point of this is that I thought it was extremely rude to say, “OH, I’ve been waiting for a second one on one” when she got her date right next to Corinne. I’m all for the women being there for themselves and prioritizing that, but you don’t need to be rude! You don’t even need to feel bad for Corinne—you just don’t have to rub it in.
5. Corinne’s tendency to attack the other women when she’s feeling threatened (even though usually just in interviews or behind their back) is getting real old. Just chill, honey. Worry about Corinne.
4. Like, seriously, stop wasting my time. No one thought for even a quarter of a second that Nick was going to quit the show. Watching the fake suspense just made me annoyed, nothing else.
3. Speaking of wasted time… (SPOILER that is not really a spoiler but that also is) why on earth did ABC confirm Rachel as the Bachelorette before the episode aired tonight? I am THRILLED with this news, but really peeved that they spoiled her story. Like, I knew she probably didn’t win, but now I feel like there’s no real point in caring about her and Nick’s relationship. Ugh. (But also thank goodness and finally!)
2. Nick only being scared of tough questions from brothers and dads is both sexist and stupid. Have you never met a mom? Or a big sister? God help you if you piss one off.
1. IS THIS A FUCKING JOKE WITH NO ROSE CEREMONY AGAIN?!? SOME OF US REALLY ENJOY STRUCTURE, ABC.
And now Nick’s best moments:
Here are the 5 Best Things That Nick Did on The Bachelor: Episode 7
5. “I didn’t expect you to go third person there,” Nick says as Corinne pulls a Corinne. Lol.
4. I hardly want to give Nick props for not sleeping with Corinne, because we know he only did that so America wouldn’t eviscerate him, but still, good for him. That would have been exceedingly stupid.
3. Nick is very smart at dumping and knew much better than to reply to Danielle’s, “not great enough” remark. Smart man!
2. Nick’s, “I can’t say I love you to more than one person” speech was very genuine and sweet and thoughtful for his future. I was quite impressed, even though I’m sure hearing that the guy you’re on your second date with doesn’t love you back is truly heart-wrenching.
1. Nick sending Kristina home one on one is really kind of him and honestly, I think kind of selfless because I think he likes her more than Corinne, but he didn’t want to break Kristina’s heart later into things.
Some random thought and predictions:
- With Kristina going home and Rachel as our Bachelorette (hooray!!), I think it is pretty clear that either Raven or Vanessa is going to win. I actually hope it’s Raven? I find her much more interesting.
- Why is Vanessa never hanging out with the other women? Seeing Rachel and Raven handle Corinne so well speaks so highly of them. Seeing Vanessa ignore everyone…
- I have no theories on who’s coming back unless it’s Jen from Bachelor in Paradise, but I don’t know. Who really knows anymore?
See you next week! I no longer have any expectations or predictions about episodes because The Bachelor is trying to take my entire sense of security in understanding this show.
*Feature image source: ABC